Publically, I commit to holding myself accountable.
As I wrote that first sentence auto correct changed publicly to biblically, I think that's going to have to be my first goal. As a lapse Catholic, I do not belong to a church. I don't go to church. I have tried in the past,... I went to one church that told me every week that I was going to rot in hell for my sins,... um,.. I'd rather not hear that.... I went to another church that preached about opening my wallet and giving more to the church,... um,.... my wallet is empty,... wanna see my bills? I have gone to church where the people are so friendly they kept hugging me, but then during the service people started talking in tongues and having seizures on the floor,... I have gone to the church where I felt the cold stares of the holy as I tried to attend their service,... I need to find a place that I feel allows me to be myself and worship God from a place of love. I am looking for a community of God. A place where fellowship and caring surround you like a warm hug without smothering you like an overprotective mother. I am looking for a church that is a collection of real world people with real world lives, wants and needs, where mistakes are forgiven and love is the rule.
#1 find a church community that meets my needs where I can flourish, learn and love while learning to be a better person and giving back to my community.
While I am searching for my spiritual support, I need to take care of myself. I need to take care of myself body and soul. As an elementary school teacher and mother of many, I put everyone else's needs in front of my own. My first goal is to take care of my own needs to get up off the couch and out of bed and just start to move, to exercise. I am close to 250 pounds and my level of exercise is sedentary. My goal this month is to increase my average number of steps a day from 5000 to 10,000.
#2 Get moving average 10,000+ steps a day.
As an overweight woman, I have joined the mainstream clubs in the past, nothing works until you choose to make choices. I think I am the only person who ever gained weight on weight watchers. Every time I tried to join (twice in person and once online) I have gained weight. The thought that I cant have,... makes me think I need to have,... I want to have,.. I deserve it,... and then I binge. This time, I am not denying myself. I have a pint of my favorite ice cream in the freezer. I eat a little daily. I am just listening to my body. I am eating when I am hungry, not when I am bored.
#3 Change how I think about eating. hungry= eat and don't deny= moderate
I know that I have a LONG way to go,... but the journey starts with a single step or in my mind, 10,000+ Steps.
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