Redhead Freckle Face Baboon

Redhead Freckle Face Baboon

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Marks of All kinds


1/4/2013  Book Marks For Mamas
Today is day #3 of my journey of Giving. I am surprised that my enthusiasm has not slowed down.  Gift # 3 is for the wonderful women who introduced me to the gift of giving.  Tonight, I have my book club meeting.  We are just a random group of women, many of whom met through a playgroup for our children.  It was this group of ladies who recommended the book that started my journey.  I read it and was hooked!!! So as a gesture of gratitude, I made book marks for the ladies. Don't think I am more crafty than I am,... while I do like to dabble in crafts I found some free printable Book Marks online.  I was able to print those off and give them out tonight.    I am so excited to go tonight and see what the other ladies thought about the book. I am so excited!!!! I can't wait until tonight!!!

1/4/2013  Reflecting on my Giving
I was so excited to start this journey. I was excited to share my stories of giving.  I used to write poetry and stories,... 10+ years ago before I married a man with many children and had my own child.  I try to think that I have thick skin but I its a lie that I tell myself.  I wear my heart on my sleeve.  I attempted to blog about my journey but ended up having to change the wording of my post because I offended someone with a word I used.  It is 2013, words are just that, words,... I know that words if used in a mean, evil way can inflict pain and suffering on people.  I understand that.  I am a kindergarten teacher.  I see how just a few words can wound a child but in a blog meant to share my excitement and enthusiasm that word was just that a word.  It was an adjective,... that one complaint, one issue, killed my enthusiasm, killed my excitement, killed my dream. It is going to take me some time to grow thick skin, but I am working on it, I can't let their judgement effect my choices and my dreams.

Accidentally or Intentionally, some words leave a mark.

Today, I realized just how hard it is to give.  I went to book club and found that the other ladies were not infected with the enthusiasm of giving as I had been.  I was shocked to find that while some liked the book others opinions were not as favorable.  I shared with them that I had been inspired to start a journey of focusing on others and not myself. I then laid the books marks that I had made for them on the table and asked them to choose one that had meaning to them.  As I explained that I had made these book marks for them with inspirational phrases on them I found myself belittling the gift. I didn't want them to know how much they meant to me.  I felt that I was laying my heart on the table before them and was asking them to accept my friendship by marking a box yes or no.

Does the insecure child in us ever grow up?
Do we outgrow the desire for everyone to mark yes?


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